The beginning of our breastfeeding relationship was weird and scary and amazing because, no matter how much stuff I had read about nursing a baby, I truly knew nothing. That baby cluster fed like an animal until my milk came in. And did it. I actually had a doctor ask me if a nursing student could touch my engorged breasts and commented that I was "made to breastfeed". My breasts were huge and painful and hard. They were like boulders on my chest and I wondered if they would ever stop hurting. I leaked everywhere and I wondered if I was normal and if my baby, who ate around the clock, was normal. No one tells you how much nursing is actually normal for a newborn. The hospital wants to know how long she ate, what side did she eat from.... I was so confused. And my nipples were in so much pain. They were simply red and raw, no matter how great my daughter's latch was (which it was). So, the hospital gave us a nipple shield to use. Even though I had to wean my daughter off the shield (which happened around 4 weeks), I think it saved us. I was in so much pain, I was sure I had thrush or some kind of infection. The shield allowed us to nurse through the pain. And I never seemed to be able to get comfortable, no matter what position I nursed in.
But, things weren't all bad. I discovered side-lying nursing. I began to find ways to get comfy. The nipple shield went in the trash and we were able to go out for longer than a half hour without the baby needing to stop and nurse. There was no pain. There was no pain! And most of all, there was no formula. Somehow, I had managed to push through and not quit, even though I really wanted to at times. It seemed easier to go to formula at times, I really thought. But, holding my daughter close, seeing her face, so calm and happy while nursing, and waking up next to her after a nap or night of sleep - it was and is all worth it. I was able to finish graduate school and start a new job, all while nursing a baby. It can be done and it is wonderful.
Now I'm nursing a one year old. My daughter gets all excited to nurse, and when I've been gone to work for the day, I love sitting or laying down with her and just relaxing and nursing. I'm so happy I stuck with it through the ups and down and plan to nurse for as long as she'd like to.
had a baby!
Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
i really don't think i made any -- as for this year, i'll say this year is about getting further in my career.
Did anyone close to you give birth?
Did anyone close to you die?
great uncle's sister
What countries did you visit?
What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
more balls, haha
What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory?
march 15 - emily's birthday
What was your biggest achievement of the year?
successfully completing student teaching and earning my master's/ teaching cert.
What was your biggest failure?
not getting ahead with money
Did you suffer illness or injury?
What was the best thing you bought?
didn't buy too many things for myself, probably the sara barellis cd
Where did most of your money go?
baby stuff (didn't have too much money!!)
What did you get really, really, really excited about?
the baby, being at home for the summer.
What song will always remind you of 2008?
Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) Happier or sadder?
b) Thinner or fatter?
thinner!! (not pregnant! plus, i'm thinner than pre-pregnancy!)
c) richer or poorer?
What do you wish you'd done more of?
enjoying the little moments when emily was first home.
What do you wish you'd done less of?
complaining about money
How did you spend Christmas?
at aunt di's as usual -- it was a mad house there, because everyone who could have possibly came for dinner, did. which was really nice for a change!
What was your favorite TV program?
the office, 30 rock, the biggest loser, TLC, and i got really into just about every show on bravo (top chef, project runway, etc,)
Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
What was the best book you read?
How Starbucks Saved My Life
What was your greatest musical discovery?
that i am truly a britney spears fan, haha
What did you want and get?
cookbooks, a baby, to finish school
What was your favourite film of this year?
sex and the city
What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 26. Went for my free dinner at coopers with the family, and that's about it.
How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
relaxed, complete with crocs and nursing tank tops!
What kept you sane?
drinking coffee, watching mindless tv, reading LJ
Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
chris cuomo from good morning america -- hey, when you have a baby you get up early. i have a major crush on him and wentworth mi
What political issue stirred you the most?
Who did you miss?
new york city, lauren, erin <333
Who was the best new person you met?
my baby girl!!!! my cooperating teachers (they taught me so much) and all the children at school.
Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008:
Family is really the most important thing in life. Cherish every moment, because time passes so quickly!
- Current Location:living room
- Current Music:MTV
I simply can't shake the feeling of worry and dread. I am so nervous about starting to student teach. Although I have done all the work I need to do & I am ready to begin, I am just so scared about leaving Emily. I know it will be worse for me than for her, and she is lucky that she gets to be at home with Chris, and not have to have her routine all changed around and put in day care, but I am going to miss her so much, even for just the few hours a day I will be gone. Not to mention the fact that we really just do not have the money for me to not be working until at least December. When I say it like that, when I just out loud say the month, it does not seem so far away. Even though I am sitting here in a skirt and a tank top with our Wal-Mart box fan blowing at me, I know, December, and it's ice and cold, are just around the corner. And that is a good thing. Just one year ago, I was coming to terms with being pregnant and realizing my life was about to change forever. And now, she is here, she is alive and well and thriving, and she is already 5 months old (tomorrow!). It's hard to believe how quickly time has passed. So. So what, we're here, and we don't have much money, but we'll survive. A few months of just squeaking by, so what? That's doable. We can and will do whatever we have to do, and we'll survive, because that's what we do. We're a family, and we're strong, and there are always bumps in the road, but you just have to get over them, get past them, because they'll always be another one, sometime, down the road. I can't say I'm not scared, but with help and support, I don't think there's anything standing in our way.
- Current Mood: worried
livejournal, my dear friend, where have you been? i suppose i have been busy, although, if you ever told me what i would have been busy with all this time, i never would have believed you. it's all been a blur, and yet it has made so much sense. that man i was falling in love with is now my husband, and we are the proud parents of a 13 week old baby girl. she is the most amazing little person, and i am so happy to be her mom. my kitty is snuggled up against my leg. my heart is happy. i hope to start writing here again because i forget what it is like to write, and that is not a good thing.
- Current Location:couch
- Current Mood: sleepy
- Current Music:misery business - paramore
ps. please buy tristan prettyman's album, twentythree, because she is amazing & i love her & i said so.