Stumbled upon this for some reason, wondering if people still posted to LiveJournal and then got stuck reading pretty much every old entry on here. I honestly cannot believe how much things change & yet how much they stay the same. Practically exactly nine years ago, I wrote about heartache and longing and confusion and here I am contemplating the exact same thing. It's mind-blowing. It actually made me leave my desk in my own office with a window, go to the bathroom,and cry. I forget who I was and I wonder where that girl is. And yet I am painfully aware of the fact that I have not really changed all that much. It's fucking terrifying. I have children and a husband and a master's degree and a job and what the fuck am I doing?